I feel like the game doesnt really work for MCs that don't want to be there/have a lot of negative feelings around the whole affair (the game gives you choices to have these feelings of being scared and upset). Like, MC got kidnapped by Maz, forced into a truck by Sunny, then threatened into coming to a meet up by D - at this point in game, I would not be laughing at these people's jokes, I would not be helping them out with a car, I would not be cordial with them, but MC is doing all that, despite of the choices you make
these are problems I am aware of - definitely a bias on my end - and currently being worked on. i think the narrative can still work with someone who has those negative feelings. don't have to be friends with the people you work with, some people feel a certain way about crime etc etc.
the game could definitely benefit from some more negative reactions to things. i have planned for the negative build up to lead to some big deciding choices towards the end. hopefully it pays off!
i do really appreciate the feedback and thanks for trying it out even if it wasn't for you in the end 😁!
can you please turn on the brightness? I have astigmatism and it hurts my eye to read in a background that's not really white, your white background it's too dark for me 😢
I absolutely love how cocky personality mc is written. It's like watching a movie with an endearingly quippy protagonist. Also Jax?? Shoving all the ROs away because I want Him!!
Though, I found it odd how there aren't a lot of "wary for their life" options when interacting with the criminals during the kidnapping and after being followed. They do say they're not that kind of people later but even after that I would expect most people to be in a fight or flight survival mode for the entire time. The guilt thing was weird (and yeah it says it is but more than that) cuz these people are still to me in the category of "suspicious people who could kill/hurt me" not matter what they said. Idk, maybe I just take stranger danger to heart :p
PC's that lean more risk-averse have more fearful internal dialogue and reactions to things, but thank you for the suggestion - i will keep it in mind for edits and moving forward! 😁
I stumbled onto this somrwhere else, an older version too. I thought i liked how... you added an option to turn down the ride home. But then I saw you really didn't, did you. was wondering how the mc gets drawn in without that, but that's the rub, huh? pretty railroady. is the illusion of choice sliding us into false ends going to be a recurring thing?
hello! i agree the beginning is railroady. i felt the mc needed to make an unsavoury choice to get caught up in the chaos and set up the rest of the story, so i stand by it haha. for now, the ride refusal is the only 'end game' scenario i have planned. thank you for giving the story a second chance though 😁
that's fair. but as a player i feel like it was a bit silly on an abrupt false end when the game seems to very-much not be the type. you could raise the stakes into a situation where the clear choice is like.. handcuffs or worse? leaves the bpc making that choice, and leaves it in a plausable place for "well I've come THIS far may as well keep truckin. I'll stop backseat writing now lol, your stuff is great i am just critiqing nitpicking 👌 thanks for sharing your stuff with us
I really enjoyed this so far--like, a lot! I haven't played a lot of IF mind you but I felt like I had to say something. Got me really hooked. And your CSS work looks gorgeous, by the way.
Def just good times all around, a lot of demos tend to have issues with setting up their story because of how short they are but this was great. As much as I like Maz I loved punching them in the face, my introvert bruiser of an mc may have anger issues. Looking forward to more :)
First car related IF ever i know jack squat about cars. Im the girl tht calls someone to check if she has enough water in the car.. so I'm useless but what I am obsessed with is good writing and this is so fun and different. I'm used to real pretty ROs because most of my IFs are a bunch of fantasy stories so this is a real nice change of pace.
The design is wonderful. I love that it opens like a EA game lol it's honestly really cool.
i am looking forward to more and getting to know the Ro's. so glad I saw someone I follow added it. ♥️
I like this game a normal amount. All of the characters seem so fleshed out and it's so pretty to look at, and honestly I am just living for all of the cars IFs coming out. Shiny fast cars and crime, I'm hyped.
Hii, I don't think the Frank/Secretive and Sociable/Distant stats are working 100%. I could def be tripping honestly. But Whenever I'd go to the dashboard those stats seemed to stay Centered.
Idk though, It could easily be due to my bad eyesight paired with the lack of visible number(percentages) on the stats, that's tricking my brain into just thinking they haven't moved Lol.
That being said, I thought that maybe It'd only be noticeable if large effects had been made but when I tried to pick choices likely to correspond, after a while I still hadn't seen any vivid change.
thanks for reading! the stats are working on my end but i can definitely patch the suggestions, like adding the percentages, so it's clearer for the reader.
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I feel like the game doesnt really work for MCs that don't want to be there/have a lot of negative feelings around the whole affair (the game gives you choices to have these feelings of being scared and upset). Like, MC got kidnapped by Maz, forced into a truck by Sunny, then threatened into coming to a meet up by D - at this point in game, I would not be laughing at these people's jokes, I would not be helping them out with a car, I would not be cordial with them, but MC is doing all that, despite of the choices you make
hello! thank you so much for the feedback.
these are problems I am aware of - definitely a bias on my end - and currently being worked on. i think the narrative can still work with someone who has those negative feelings. don't have to be friends with the people you work with, some people feel a certain way about crime etc etc.
the game could definitely benefit from some more negative reactions to things. i have planned for the negative build up to lead to some big deciding choices towards the end. hopefully it pays off!
i do really appreciate the feedback and thanks for trying it out even if it wasn't for you in the end 😁!
can you please turn on the brightness? I have astigmatism and it hurts my eye to read in a background that's not really white, your white background it's too dark for me 😢
haha oh no, i also have astigmatism and bright whites cause me eye strain! 😭 i will see what i can do for the next patch!!
THIS UPDATE IS AMAZING OH MY GOD
thank you so much, i'm glad you enjoyed it!!! ❤️❤️❤️
I absolutely love how cocky personality mc is written. It's like watching a movie with an endearingly quippy protagonist. Also Jax?? Shoving all the ROs away because I want Him!!
Though, I found it odd how there aren't a lot of "wary for their life" options when interacting with the criminals during the kidnapping and after being followed. They do say they're not that kind of people later but even after that I would expect most people to be in a fight or flight survival mode for the entire time. The guilt thing was weird (and yeah it says it is but more than that) cuz these people are still to me in the category of "suspicious people who could kill/hurt me" not matter what they said. Idk, maybe I just take stranger danger to heart :p
thank you so much!
PC's that lean more risk-averse have more fearful internal dialogue and reactions to things, but thank you for the suggestion - i will keep it in mind for edits and moving forward! 😁
thanks so much! an update is actually coming next Sunday :-)!
i love this so much already!!
Jax has my heart!!
omg, i don't know why this comment was flagged? and in my pending for so long - i'm so sorry i didn't see it until now! thank you so much <3
**** spoilers? ****
I stumbled onto this somrwhere else, an older version too. I thought i liked how... you added an option to turn down the ride home. But then I saw you really didn't, did you. was wondering how the mc gets drawn in without that, but that's the rub, huh? pretty railroady. is the illusion of choice sliding us into false ends going to be a recurring thing?
**** spoilers ****
hello! i agree the beginning is railroady. i felt the mc needed to make an unsavoury choice to get caught up in the chaos and set up the rest of the story, so i stand by it haha. for now, the ride refusal is the only 'end game' scenario i have planned. thank you for giving the story a second chance though 😁
that's fair. but as a player i feel like it was a bit silly on an abrupt false end when the game seems to very-much not be the type. you could raise the stakes into a situation where the clear choice is like.. handcuffs or worse? leaves the bpc making that choice, and leaves it in a plausable place for "well I've come THIS far may as well keep truckin. I'll stop backseat writing now lol, your stuff is great i am just
critiqingnitpicking 👌 thanks for sharing your stuff with usim looking forward for more ❤️ i love this one so muchhh
aah thank you! looking forward to sharing more :)
I really enjoyed this so far--like, a lot! I haven't played a lot of IF mind you but I felt like I had to say something. Got me really hooked. And your CSS work looks gorgeous, by the way.
thank you so much ❤️!
Def just good times all around, a lot of demos tend to have issues with setting up their story because of how short they are but this was great. As much as I like Maz I loved punching them in the face, my introvert bruiser of an mc may have anger issues. Looking forward to more :)
thank you so much! glad you enjoyed 😁
This story seems familiar, did you perhaps posted on dashing? Love it by the way.
thank you so much! yes -- it was originally a choicescript game but decided to move to twine a few months ago.
🥰 eh that's why it's familiar. Been reading a lot of interactive fic like this. Hope you will be able to finish this author 📝.
First car related IF ever i know jack squat about cars. Im the girl tht calls someone to check if she has enough water in the car.. so I'm useless but what I am obsessed with is good writing and this is so fun and different. I'm used to real pretty ROs because most of my IFs are a bunch of fantasy stories so this is a real nice change of pace.
The design is wonderful. I love that it opens like a EA game lol it's honestly really cool.
i am looking forward to more and getting to know the Ro's. so glad I saw someone I follow added it. ♥️
haha i've been learning a lot myself making this if! so nice to know you took a chance with something new and enjoyed it, thank you for reading 😁!!
I like this game a normal amount. All of the characters seem so fleshed out and it's so pretty to look at, and honestly I am just living for all of the cars IFs coming out. Shiny fast cars and crime, I'm hyped.
so glad you enjoyed it!! thank you for reading <3
I really love this, really really looking forward to more. ^-^
thank you so much!! ❤️
Hii, I don't think the Frank/Secretive and Sociable/Distant stats are working 100%. I could def be tripping honestly. But Whenever I'd go to the dashboard those stats seemed to stay Centered.
Idk though, It could easily be due to my bad eyesight paired with the lack of visible number(percentages) on the stats, that's tricking my brain into just thinking they haven't moved Lol.
That being said, I thought that maybe It'd only be noticeable if large effects had been made but when I tried to pick choices likely to correspond, after a while I still hadn't seen any vivid change.
thanks for reading! the stats are working on my end but i can definitely patch the suggestions, like adding the percentages, so it's clearer for the reader.
THIS IS SO IUDKSHGJDKFJGHDFKG I LOVE IT SO MUCH??? sooo excited for more
thank you so much! i am excited to share more <3